Why is it always that when things start going well and I feel I am finding my groove I am suddenly hit with these curve balls out of nowhere that truly test every bit of my strength to preserve my health? I know this is life and its just what happens. But that doesn't mean I will ever get used to it or be completely shock when the bad news starts coming out of nowhere. I am trying to stay positive and remember that this horrible news also came with a silver lining. Actually, a few silver linings if we really get deep. Why couldn't the good come without the bad, though? The bad isn't making me appreciate the good any more right now. It's just letting me accept the good while my heart absolutely aches from the bad.
It's not the end of the world, and I know that. Life has to go on and it already has, whether I wanted it to or not. But right now it just hurts. I think people are mostly accepting of me needing time to cope. I just wish they let me do it in my own way. We all cope differently and I still struggle to find the best way for myself. Its hard when talking things out and showing emotion is so frowned upon and just not what you do within your family. My feelings are real and justified and I just wish it was considered okay to be upset on my own terms.
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